Can God Still Use You After Divorce? Yes. Here's My Story.
They asked me if I had prayed enough before I left.
I had three sons. An eight year old. A four year old. And a three year old who had started drawing pictures of violence because he had no other words for what was happening inside our home.
And the church's first question was whether I had fasted before I made my decision.
I want to talk to the woman who has been sitting with that kind of question. The one who left her marriage and then felt like she lost her church, her identity, and her standing before God all at the same time.
Because I was that woman. And I need you to hear what God showed me on the other side of it.
THE LIE THAT ALMOST KEPT ME STUCK
The lie sounds like this:
You made your bed. You knew what marriage meant. You took vows before God and you broke them. He cannot use a broken woman.
I believed that lie for years. Not out loud. But in the quiet. In the way I stopped raising my hand in church. In the way I sat in the back pew and felt like everyone could see the word DIVORCED written across my face.
I believed that God's plan for my life had a detour sign on it now. That the good stuff the purpose, the calling, the destiny was for women who had kept their families together.
I was wrong.
WHAT THE BIBLE ACTUALLY SAYS
There is a woman in John chapter 8 who was dragged into the street by religious people who wanted to make an example of her failure.
Jesus knelt in the dirt. He wrote something no one could see. And then He stood up and said let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
They dropped their rocks and walked away one by one.
Then Jesus looked at her and said where are your accusers?
Has no one condemned you?
She said no one Lord.
And He said neither do I condemn you.
He did not give her a list of requirements before extending grace. He did not ask her to prove she had tried hard enough. He simply said I do not condemn you. Now go live differently.
That is what He is saying to you right now.
Romans 8:1 says there is therefore NOW no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.
Not after you have it together. Not after enough time has passed. Now. Today. In the middle of the divorce papers and the empty pew and the whispers.
WHAT GOD DID WITH MY BROKEN PIECES
I left my marriage in 2001 with three sons and no plan.
I was a part time housekeeper. Not the breadwinner. I did not know how we were going to make it. Those few nights we had no electricity. I boiled water for baths. My car was repossessed at one in the morning. I rode buses to phlebotomy class while my sons were in school.
I prayed four words when I had nothing left.
Strength. Peace. Sleep. Guidance.
He gave me all four.
Not always when I wanted them. Not always how I expected them. But He gave them.
A teacher saw something in me that I could not see in myself. She closed the blinds in her classroom and told me she had watched me struggle for four months. She said I know someone at the new hospital. I am sending you there.
She only did it for me.
I stayed a phlebotomist for twenty two years. I raised my sons on that gift. And I never once lacked what I truly needed.
God did not disqualify me because I left my marriage.
He was building something in me through every single moment of it.
THE YEARS THE LOCUST ATE
Joel 2:25 says I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.
For a long time I looked at my survival years as lost years. Years I spent working instead of thriving. Years my sons spent growing up in a broken home. Years I spent carrying shame that was never mine to carry.
But God does not see lost years the way we do.
Every seed you planted in that season every sacrifice, every tear, every morning you got up when you had nothing left He saw every single one.
And He is a God of harvest.
The locust ate some years. But God promised restoration. Not replacement. Restoration. The actual years. The actual losses. Plus interest.
He catapulted me to where I should have been. But first He had to do the groundwork. The pruning. The stripping. Not because He was punishing me. Because He loved me too much to let me arrive at my destiny carrying everything that would have destroyed it.
WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW TODAY
If you are a divorced Christian woman reading this post right now I want to say something directly to you.
You are not disqualified.
The shame you are carrying is not from God. It was handed to you by people who were more concerned with appearances than with your survival.
God was not in that pew nodding when they questioned your faith. He was with you in the parking lot when you sat in your car and cried before driving home to your children alone.
Leaving was not a lack of faith. For some of us leaving was the answer to our prayers.
Your children are not ruined. God covers what you cannot reach. He meets them where you cannot get to. Isaiah 54:13 says all your children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be the peace of your children. That promise is still yours.
Your years are not lost. God is keeping the account. And harvest time is coming.
And you the woman reading this right now you are still standing. Whether you feel like it or not. Whether the church sees it or not. Whether anyone has told you recently or not.
You are still standing.
IF THIS IS YOUR STORY
I wrote a book for you.
It is called Still Standing: A Christian Single Mother's Guide to Raising Your Children After Divorce.
It is six chapters built around the questions every divorced Christian mother is actually asking. How do I release this shame? How do I raise children who love God through a broken home? How do I pray when I have nothing left? How do I trust again after everything that happened?
Every chapter includes biblical teaching, practical wisdom, a written prayer you can pray word for word on your darkest nights, and journal prompts to help you process what God is doing in your season.
It was written from the other side of survival. From a woman who made it through. And it was written for you.
You can get your copy here: Still Standing
You are not disqualified. You are not forgotten.
You are Still Standing.
If you are ready to quiet your heart and focus on God again, join the 7 Day Praise Challenge. It will help you turn your attention away from the noise and back toward the presence of God one day at a time.
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Ready to go deeper into your faith journey? Explore the full book collection from S.A. Briddell written for the woman who wants more than surface faith.
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Redeemed by Grace. Rooted in Faith.
Living on Purpose. Stay rooted. Stay renewed.
You are trusted by God.
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