When It’s Just You and Them

A word for the mother who lay in bed after everyone fell asleep and wondered how she was going to carry it all

There is a kind of silence that only a mother knows.

Not peaceful silence.
Not restful silence.

The kind that comes after the children finally fall asleep.

The kind that shows up when the house is dark, the bills are still due, the future is unclear, and nobody is coming to rescue you.

That silence is heavy.

It is the silence of “How are we going to make it?”

And if you have ever found yourself there lying beside your children, staring into the dark, holding fear in your chest and trying not to let it swallow you this is for you.

The Night It Became “Just Us”

There is always a night when it becomes real.

Not the court date.
Not the argument.
Not the paperwork.

The night.

The night you realize it is just you and them now.

In Still Standing, that night came after violence, fear, and police involvement. Her children piled into one bed with her. She held them close and told them it was going to be just them now. Then she waited for them to fall asleep. And when the room got quiet, her mind started racing.

That is what many women never say out loud.

The first nights of survival are not poetic.
They are not inspirational.
They are not wrapped in soft worship music and neat devotionals.

They are raw.

You are trying to comfort your children while wondering how you are going to pay rent.
You are trying to sound stable while you feel like your whole life just cracked open.
You are trying to be their safety while grieving the fact that nobody is yours.

The Hard Truth Nobody Tells Single Mothers

Here is the truth most people are too shallow to say:

Leaving protects your children. But it does not protect them from everything.

That line matters.

Because many mothers think that once they leave, the worst is over.

Sometimes the worst part is not the leaving.
Sometimes it is watching what the damage did to your children over time.

It is seeing anger settle into one child.
Silence settle into another.
Confusion settle into all of them.

It is realizing that one decision may have saved them, but healing will still take years. Sometimes decades.

That does not mean leaving was wrong.

It means healing is long.

It means motherhood in broken seasons is not about finding a quick fix.
It is about laying brick after brick after brick while God builds something stronger than what broke.

That First Bed Was a Foundation

One of the strongest lines in this chapter is this:

“That bed. That night. That was the first brick.”

Read that again.

Not the perfect house.
Not the perfect church family.
Not the perfect budget.
Not the perfect healing plan.

The bed.
The night.
The fear.
The children gathered close.

That was the first brick.

Some of you are waiting for your life to look impressive before you believe God is building something.

But God builds with bricks the world overlooks:

• a scared prayer
• one paid bill
• one shift worked exhausted
• one meal stretched
• one child comforted
• one more morning survived
• one more night you did not quit

Do not despise that season.

You are not “barely making it.”
You are laying foundation.

God Meets Women in the Night Seasons

This chapter does not pretend fear is fake.

It does not say, “Just trust God,” like that magically removes the weight.

Instead, it gives what God actually says:

“Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

That is not a decorative verse.

That is survival truth.

Notice what God does not say.

He does not say you will never feel fear.
He says fear does not have to lead.

He does not say you will hold yourself up.
He says I will uphold you.

He does not say figure it all out tonight.
He says I am with you.

That means when the children are sleeping and your mind is racing and the future feels too heavy to hold, you are not actually alone in that room.

God is in the room too.

Be Still Is Not Soft Advice

One of the strongest parts of this chapter is the call to be still. Not because the situation is small, but because panic does not build anything. The book says stillness is where God speaks and where He moves.

That is a word for somebody right now.

You do not need another frantic plan tonight.
You do not need to explain yourself to everybody.
You do not need to solve five years in one sitting.

You need stillness.

Because stillness is not passivity.

Stillness is war against panic.
Stillness is trust when your circumstances are loud.
Stillness is a mother saying, “I will not let fear be the loudest voice in this house.”

What Single Mothers Need to Hear

Let me say this plainly.

You do not have to have it all together to be a good mother.

Your children do not need a polished woman.
They need a present one.

They need to see somebody keep going.
They need to see somebody pray scared.
They need to see somebody get up again.
They need to see what faith looks like when life did not go the way you planned.

That is testimony.

Not perfection.
Presence.

Not pretending.
Perseverance.

Not having every answer.
Refusing to abandon them while you wait for God to unfold the next step.

The Lie That Must Be Broken

Here is the lie:

“If I am overwhelmed, I must be failing.”

No.

You may be overwhelmed because what you are carrying is heavy.

That does not make you weak.
It makes you honest.

The woman in this chapter was not weak because she was scared.
She was strong because she stayed.
She laid the first brick.
She kept going.
She trusted God in a season where there were more questions than answers.

And if that is you right now, then hear me:

You are not behind.
You are not forgotten.
You are not failing because you are tired.

You are building under pressure.

Final Word

If tonight feels heavy…

If it is just you and them…

If the silence is loud…

If your mind is racing…

If you do not know how provision is coming…

If you are trying not to let your children see how afraid you are…

Remember this:

That bed may not look like much.
That night may not feel holy.
But that may be the first brick of the life God is building for you and your children.

Do not stop laying.

God is still with you.
God is still speaking.
God is still providing.
And what feels like the end of your old life may actually be the foundation of your new one.

That bed. That night. That was the first brick.
Keep laying.

I wrote Still Standing because I lived it. Not because I had it figured out. 

Because I survived it. And I believe God put this book in your path today for a reason. 

If any word of this post landed in a place you have been carrying quietly the book goes deeper. Much deeper.

Still Standing: A Christian Single Mother's Guide to Raising Your Children After Divorce 

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Redeemed by Grace. Rooted in Faith. 

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You are trusted by God.

 — S. A. Briddell